it's been a week since i got back home and i'm already missing it...

counting down the days i am going to spend in this place makes my heart ache.

i don't know when will i return to this place again.

coming back this time is far more different than last June...let's get this straight..

Looking around in church..many has gone overseas to pursue their dreams, the little ones has grown. How could i have not noticed that? When did they turn to be such beaty and so tall? It was like yesterday when they were small!

We've moved to a new church..PRAISE GOD!! memories of my church childhood were made in the old place...but still, God's grace has always been sufficient and His blessings? I don't think neither i nor anyone can doubt it. and so....future memories will be made in the new one!

change

wednesday...i skipped prayer meeting.

i was depressed...

on the change that was made..

on the person i turned out to be.

i used to be caring,

i used to be sincere.

almost humble i would say.

what happened? i do not know.

the days pass like seconds- never turning back.

it was almost too late when i realized.

caught up with my activities in life,

i was blinded by it.

success and victories that were claimed-

i was happy, i was thankful.

most of all i was blessed.

not by my doing but by God's hand.

but all those accomplishments...

are turning me into a monster.

i turn proud... arrogant... complicated...

time were lost to tasks needed to be done.

and as clock ticks life away,

i grew into someone i know not of.

as i look at the person in the mirror,

i recognize the shell of that reflection,

but i do not know of its inner self anymore.

the heart asked,

"where did you put God?"

the mind answers,

"i can't remember where you told me to squeeze it to.

some corner i suppose."

"try to find Him will ya?He's somewhere near."

"You're too busy, remember? Let's just wait till you're free."

Let's just face it..

laziness is not an option,

it all depends on the willingness..

humility before the Almighty

I know God never left me...

yet its so unfair that i decided to ignore Him.

He is part of my life, yes indeed...

but my problem is...

i did not let Him to be part of my everything...

when He made me to be part of His great plans.

i need time,perhaps..

to rethink about my life.

time to clear out who i am..

i need to set my priorities right.

to learn to be

humble, faithful, obedient..

to follow my Redeemer.

honest, truthful and sincere..

to live a life that makes a difference.

19th Sept

==Friday==19th Sept==

Checklist for the day:

• 9-11am   : Nusantara Class
  
• reminder : Sze Ying and Samuel's birthday
  
• 12pm-4pm: Finish my assignment
• 5pm-7pm : Appointment with Pastor
• 7pm-8pm : Dinner
  
• Reminder : Get a cake for Sying and Samuel
• 8pm-12am: MIA for rehearsal
  
• 12am : home

I was supposed to do all of the above. SADLY they're done as planned!

Firstly, my class was cancelled the moment we reached uni.  So yea, we went home whereas Yean decided to go for library. Change of plan, i get more time to do my assignment! YAY! Reached home and woke Joey up...turn on Zitty...went online and left a greeting on Sying's wall.

Then i began searching for information on my assignment.found two articles.good...the problem? i can't pen anything down! i ended up chatting non stop with sophie...took me awhile to snap back to reality. I GOTTA FINISH MY ASSIGNMENT.took  a BiG breath and started typing on Pages and guess what? my mind went literally BLANK...BLANK for goodness sake!

sigh...anyway, went out for lunch with xiao di and then carried on chatting with sophie...then...TA-DA! I managed to download e-brary on Joey..and can finally access e-books!hehehe...so yea...my attention fell onto reading some other music books.

time does fly...really quickly when you least wanted it too...i was late for my appointment with pastor! but yea, we did have a good time catching up and keeping each other updated. We then went for dinner, bought Sying's and mommy's cake...choc mousse...

8.05pm - MIA...i saw everyone...had to run up the stairs with the cake.hehe. manage to hide it from Sying even tho she was right in front of me :) in the end we kept in PR5. And the rehearsal begins...

beyond my expectations....i sang really well...NOT...i was flatting and sharping all the way..not forgetting that i have trouble with 'Shen Qi'...'o Del mio ' was...horrible...i can barely relate my voice and brain to the piano accompaniment. Poor sir had to bear with my singing!

anyway, i'm back home now...everything still in square 1. :( procrastinating is the KEY to ALL STRESSES...i wish i have more time to finish my work.sigh. 

anyway, that's all for today...again...Happy Birthday Sying! and Samuel! I do pray and hope that this year will be a year filled with joy and peace for you both. friends forever. Cheers my dear friends. :)

==SATURDAY=20th SEPT==

Checklist:

• Jogging at 6.30am
• Leave for LRT at 9am
• Teaching at 11-2pm
• Back home
• Tutoring Eunice at 6pm
• Concert at 7pm
• prepare for church service

Home Alas....

Am finally home! The plane delayed for an hour and i arrived around 9.45pm. Missed both lunnch and dinner(but i did took Mocha Frapp as lunch substitute) Mom saw me and she claims that i am FAT. can you believe it? yeah, i guess i was furious cuz suddenly i don't feel hungry anymore.

anyway, met up with my BFFs yesterday and had a great time during lunch, movies(we watched Kung Fu Panda) and dinner in Escapade! Not forgetting to mention that i met Bryan, Joyce an her dad on the streets!

looking back to my high school years, i find it hard to believe that i actually grew up in Brunei! :) Loved it! Love the bitter sweet memories and the place...its so different fro KL. i guess everyone is growing up, and that includes me!

P/S: i know this blog is fragmented...i', having problems concentrating...really sleepy! til then! Blessings!

I'm going home!

Finally! My first blog after a year of signing up to blogspot...mind's kinda empty right now, listening to delirious' rain down, waiting for Carmen to come. Lunch will be just around the corner..going for groceries with li shan for tonight's cell group's gathering. Gong back home tomorrow! Can't wait...